Things to do at my house

The best thing to do at my house is to see if you can ride the scooter up our walkway and around the tight corner around the side of the house then drive it right into the shed over the half foot lip without putting your foot down. For an extra challenge i like to do it in the reverse direction.

Other fun things include doing the same thing as above but on my road bike, this is much easier because the scooter has big mirrors that stick out to the side and hit the side of the house.

Another fun thing to do is to see how long i can make the heat stay off by setting the thermostat really low when jude is not looking i do this, i set it to 12 degrees and wear a toque around as the temperature outside warms up the furnace takes longer and longer to kick in. I've found that closing certain doors in the house really helps like the spare bedroom and the office door, i think there is not too much insulation below these rooms.

I also like to fall asleep on my back on the hard wood floor in front of the heater i bought, i have good naps there.

Another fun thing i like to do is see how long i can hold my breath for in the bath tub. It's hard to orient yourself face down in there so you mostly have to do it on your back, this ads an extra challenge because you have to let air out so it doesn't go up your nose, i've tried it both ways, i can do it for longer plugging my nose.

I like to see how quickly and efficiently i can unload the dishwasher, sometimes i will time myself. the trick is to do the smallest amount of moving around so you need to put the pots and pans in the general direction of the cupboard they go in then when they are all out of the washer you make a dash to that side of the kitchen....only do this once, rather than multiple trips, it's quicker.

when i let the cats in the door i like to see how small a gap i can create for them before they come in. sometimes i make a big gap so it entices them and as they move through i slowly make the gap smaller so they have to bust a move to get through, this is a really awesome game.

i like to see how many times i can go to the bathroom before flushing the toilet....flushing toilets wastes a ton of water so i usually don't flush if i pee but sometimes in the morning when i have multiple bowel movements i will leave the first one in anticipation of the second.....jude hates this game because i usually just forget to flush the toilet all together.

Robbed- An open letter to the guy who Robbed our house

Dear Robber,
I know all of our life circumstances are different but dude, if you have the energy to come in and trash our house and steal a bunch of stuff then you could definitely use it somewhere else. At first when we thought it was a drug related break in I felt some compassion. I can't imagine being addicted to something so intensely that you would need to break in and steal stuff to get money to get another hit. This I find incredibly sad because I don't know your history and to be on that path it probably means life has not been fantastic at times.

However, after learning that you are a seasoned veteran of identity theft, I kind of think you might just be a dick. It's great that we got our laptop back but we are still missing all kinds of stuff including passports and other financial papers. It's a real pain in the butt replacing all that stuff and besides, did you really think you could steal the identity of someone as famous and good looking as me. If you try to do anything with it people will say something like this: "Ah excuse me sir, you couldn't possibly be Jasper Blake, he is very good looking and a total stud"...or something to that effect.

It's also been a real pain in the ass cleaning the house up. The least you could have done is gone through things in an orderly fashion and left a note saying you had been and had taken some stuff. In fact, if you were really smart, you wouldn't have trashed the place at all, it would be much more effective to leave quietly like a mouse so we didn't know anyone had been here, then you might have had a head start.

When it comes down to it, it's always about choice. It might not seem like you have the choice but you do, choice always exists you just need to recognize it. Life is about patterning. We fall into the same patterns over and over.....but we always have the choice to exercise different patterns we just need to be conscious enough to understand that and brave enough to act on it. Good luck with everything and I mean that.

Sincerely,
Jasper